Making Sisters Best Friends

I've learned that sisters (and brothers, for that matter) can be best friends or worst enemies. Isn't that true of husbands and wives sometimes too? I am very grateful that Don and I are best friends most of the time! :o)

Through much trial and error, I've learned what works best for me in encouraging them to be best friends. It's not spanking, coaxing or talking to them until I am blue in the face either, LOL! When two of my daughters are fighting, I simply send them to their room and tell them not to come out until they've "made things right with each other" (apologized for their own wrong-doing in the situation) and become best friends again! In doing this, I am not "the bad guy" and they work things out on their own. So many times in the past, I've been the judge in countless arguments, etc. That's so tiring, especially with 10 children!

Usually, they come out of their room within minutes and they both have good attitudes...it's amazing! Sometimes they will stay in their room for awhile. If for some reason, I don't think they were honest and genuine and came out of their room prematurely, I just send them back!
Our children really should be best friends with one another. We tell our children, "God first, family second, friends and others third."

Unfortunately, we live in a society that does not promote those priorities in that way. Often in TV shows, movies, etc., the parents are depicted as being dumb, aloof, not in touch with today's youth, etc. The children and teens are the ones who are often portrayed as being superior to s. Often in TV and movies, children and teens are disrespectful to parents and other siblings. This is so sad. It's easy to see how Satan has gotten a foothold in so many ways in the media today. Also, it is typical to see brothers/sisters on TV and movies fighting with one another. Many families have fallen apart and are continuing to fall apart...

We need to instill godly characteristics in our children. Most of all, we parents need to godly characteristics for them. It is possible for children to be best friends, but we need to encourage them to be that way!

What Homeschooling is all about!

A couple of months ago, one of our dear neighbors gave Noah an old go-cart. He blessed Noah by saying if you "like to tinker on things," here is an old go-cart you can have, with the warning that "it doesn't work." Noah was up to the challenge and after working on the go-cart, studying small engine mechanics and numerous trips to get parts and a couple of online purchases for parts, Noah got the go-cart to run! The first time, it ran a little then quit. However, today he and Nathan were able to drive it for about 15 minutes before the engine stopped. As you can see, they had a fun time riding the go-cart in the mud and got quite dirty!

For our family, this is what homeschooling is all about! Noah had to do a lot of research and spend his own money, but he's learned a lot about small engines and is proud of this accomplishment. He's decided he would like to take a small engine class and start a small business. We are supporting him all the way! This kind of hands-on learning is the best. We are grateful God led us to homeschool our children and we will continue to do so until He instructs us otherwise.

The Real Good Humor Man, by Don Gordoni

The first of our family's goals is to have fun together. That may not sound too spiritual but before you get all high brow and skip on to the next article, please hear me out. One of my best friends, Richard, is a wryly witted, storm chasing meteorologist who is married to a free spirited, adventurer named Paula. Paula's parting words are usually "have fun" to which Richard sometimes replies "oh, yeah, it's all about having fun." Yes, Dr. Richard there is more to life than fun but there is a wonderful proverb that says "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones" (Proverbs 17:22). In fact my wife proposed that we adopt that Bible verse as our household motto, she even painted it over the mantle of the home we were in at the time. By the way, under the cool austere and scientific shell that Richard wears, lurks the mischievous grin of a very fun loving and funny fellow.

With all that is dark in the world today and the certainty of things growing darker in the end times, wholesome fun is of great value and is one of the distinguishing marks of those who know that with Christ all things will one day be made right. My wife and I are both youngest children and one of the common laments that we hear from the first born crowd is how strict and distracted their parents were and how they loosened the reigns for their younger siblings. In essence they say things like "you youngest kids got away with murder!"

My parents loved to laughed and were always looking for the up side and it wasn't because we were living on easy street. My mom had crossed eyes until she could afford to pay for surgery at age 19, my father went blind, lost his career, his first wife, and his life savings and suffered from recurring brain tumors, surgeries and hospital stays. However, through all their trials they both kept smiling and laughing. Prayer and trust that God would see them through showed real faith in difficult times. There is a creative movie called "Life is Beautiful." The movie features a loving Jewish father who keeps his young son hidden in a German concentration camp. This film is not for young children and falls short of speaking of God and Christ but it displays the power God has given us, to be able to have a positive attitude amidst extremely difficult circumstances. Another example is Corrie Ten Boom in The Hiding Place. She and her sister had amazing God-given courage in a Nazi concentration camp. Corrie's sister Betsy's positive attitude encouraged Corrie to persevere even after Betsy died.

It is important to distinguish between what is good-natured humor and what is fun at other's expense. Anything that creates shame or demoralizes or promotes hurtful stereotypes is not funny to God. Certain types of silly, foolish behavior are not becoming in men, women or teenagers. Discerning when humor is appropriate is a key part of maturity. The best forms of merriment are usually associated with celebrating achievements. The Bible contains feasts to be observed as a recognition that all true success comes "down from the Father" (James 1:17) and is meant to be a refreshing time of merriment. The sentiment is "wow, isn't God good?" It is as though God says, "you've done well, now sit down and enjoy some of the fruit of your labor." With ten children, we don't always have the means to accept every party invitation but we try to make it a priority to be there for the most significant events whenever possible. What makes an event significant varies depending on the person involved. Granted, some events like a wedding for instance are always significant but we need to listen very carefully to our loved ones to discern what it is that they really want to celebrate. I have one son who at this point, is much more interested in me observing his finely honed golf swing then almost anything else.

Okay, for those of you who are convinced that piety and laughter can never inhabit the same person, I have a few questions for you. Think about some of the Christians who have been the most influential in your life, directly or indirectly. For instance, D.L Moody and C.S. Lewis have influenced me indirectly through their writing (like I'm trying to influence you now). People I have known face to face have also influenced me directly. One such person was a little old lady named Evelyn Bell. Evelyn had polio when she was young and it left her with a great hump on her back. She never learned to drive and lived in a tiny house where she took in sewing jobs to earn her keep. In the winter her clothes had the odor that came from the fumes of a gas stove and she was the only adult that I knew who was shorter than me when I was twelve years old. Evelyn loved Jesus and people and more than her diminutive crippled body or the odd odor of her clothing or her poverty. I remember her broad smile and her warm hugs. Now that you have these people who have influenced you in your mind, how do you picture them? Is it their serious mood and furrowed brow that you reflect on? Granted you may think of them in some passionate state performing some great feat but when you think of the their faces do you see their smile? When you hear them speak in your mind, is there a lilt and hopefulness in their tone? For me, when I think of D.L. Moody I picture him playing with children, spinning around in circles with his forehead on the end of a baseball bat so that he can gather a group of children and tell them about Jesus. When I think of C.S. Lewis, I think of funny illustrations woven into deep spiritual truths such as his famous proposition that there are only three ways to look at Jesus: Lord, liar, or lunatic. He quips that if Jesus is not God but only thinks He is, then he is like a man saying that he is a poached egg. If that doesn't strike you as funny then your funny bone is broken.

Harry Burt had a heart for people, a knack for candy making, an innovative way to keep your hands clean while eating ice cream, and a resourceful way of getting his product to the people. This entrepreneur who we have to thank for ice cream on a stick, also had strict standards for those who worked for him. Here's what one history book had to say about his army of Good Humor men:
Burt hired and intensively trained men who lived up to the image the Good Humor Ice Cream Company wanted to portray. Clean, white uniforms and a cheery manner became trademarks of the Good Humor Man. The qualifications for becoming a Good Humor Man included the ability to be friendly with children and look after their safety. Burt was so successful in molding the image of the Good Humor Man that by the 1950s such virtues as enthusiasm, dedication, friendliness, dependability, and honesty had come to be associated with his ice cream company. Newspaper reports of the local Good Humor Man rushing a baby to a hospital for treatment and breaking up a counterfeit money operation in Long Island, New York, only added to the image.
- Source: International Directory of Company Histories, Vol. 14. St. James Press, 1996.

I was thinking about the real Good Humor man, He is the God Humored Man and when I get to see Him face to face, I will be dressed in white (Revelation 3:5). Like Harry Burt He has very high standards for those who follow Him and He commissioned His people to take to the streets dispensing truly satisfying refreshment. Just as the Good Humor men held children in high regard and watched over them, we too are expected to hold them in high regard (Matthew 19:14) and be on the alert against those who would harm them (Mark 9:42).

Nehemiah 8:10 says "Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength." The people had been weeping because Nehemiah had been reading God's law and it was evident that they had been neglecting it but afterward they rejoiced because they "understood" what had been read to them (Nehemiah 8:12). Yes, we live in sober times too with evidence all around us that God's law has been neglected even among His people, but when we realize the power of Christ and the hope that we have in Him there is great cause to rejoice! A realization that allows us to: "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 1:2-4).

It seems only right to conclude an article like this one with a joke: why did the chicken cross the playground? (drum roll please) To get to the other slide.

If you have a favorite joke or story, please email me at don.gordoni.creative@gmail.com or make a comment on my family blog at http://neveradullminute.blogspot.com/

Yyyyaaaaaayyyyyy Don!

I just had to make a quick post to tell Don "CONGRATULATIONS!" on being a runner-up in T-Tapp's 60-Day Challenge contest! He did great! If you want to see his results, here's the link: http://www.t-tapp.com/challenge2009/60-DayChallenge/dong/index.html

Treasuring Family

by Don Gordoni

In a day when radical attempts are being made to redefine what it means to be a family, the need for Christians to understand the importance of family is greater then ever. Many Christians have adopted a cultural design for their families that looks a lot like the world around them. This was descriptive of me and my family until about three years ago when the extreme rebellion of our oldest child caused my wife and I to do the type of deep, heart-wrenching soul searching that is usually only brought on by trials.

What did we do wrong? Why didn't we recognize the signs sooner? What if? What now? These are just a few of the questions that we poured over again and again. Prayers, tears, bible study, counsel, and reflecting on the conclusions of three books, George Barna's Transforming Children Into Spiritual Champions, Ted Tripp's Shepherding a Child's Heart, and Keeping Our Children's Hearts by Steven and Teri Maxwell, have brought us to a short set of resolves that have radically reformed our view of family life. It's important to let you know that throughout our marriage we have been very active in church and thought that we were doing things the "right" way most of the time.

There are few things in life that you can be absolutely certain of but one of them is that family relationships are meant to be vitally important at all times. So much of what we experience in this life is a picture of a greater truth and eternal reality. I believe that God instituted family because it gives us the best picture of the intensely intimate relationship that the Lord wants to have with us. You have heard that for children, love is spelled T-I-M-E. In reality the same is true for anyone who desires to be loved. The popular children's book Where the Wild Things Are contains a sentiment attractive to all of us. In this book, Max, a tired vanquished boy longs for the place "where someone loved him best of all." In most aspects of life we are encouraged to be selfless but when it comes to marriage and family we are granted the permission to have special and exclusive relationships. Just as God is our one and only, so our spouse should be too. The practical application of this realization is that it is okay to treat your home as a refuge for your family, it is essential to take time to go on dates with your spouse, and it is absolutely necessary for each of your children to receive special preferential attention. We are told that when Christ calls His church we will feast with Him (Rev. 19:7) and rule and reign with Him (Rev. 5:9-10). We will also worship together as a great family as children of God having been made brothers and sisters of Christ (Romans 8:11). We are also told that we will have our own one-on-one audience where we will be given a new name (Rev. 2:17).

If you have known Christ for long, then you are familiar with these facts but many in the body of Christ have failed to grasp that God intends for families to bond together and this requires an investment of time. In reality, most of us have exchanged the blessings of family for work (outside the home), church programming, sports, and entertainment. And many who read this article will feel a tinge of guilt but allow it to pass because they don't have the courage, energy, or know how to move away from the fractured life that they have been living. It is all that they have known and there are few examples of those who have chosen to do things differently.

God's blueprint for families varies as much as it does for individuals so we can never find the perfect family model. I would never advocate that anyone attempt to copy our family but there are some Biblical principles that we have discovered and put in force that have produced almost immediate positive results:

• Take radical steps to eliminate financial strain. The Bible says that the borrower is the lender's slave and slavery just doesn't make for good family life. Our family down-sized from a 2600 square foot, five bedroom home to a 1524 square foot, 3 bedroom home. We also resolved to stop borrowing money and stop using credit cards and started working extra part-time jobs. We were able to reduce our total debt from $204,000 to under $90,000 in two years time and are praying that God provides the means for us to eliminate it completely. The unity that this has brought in our marriage is wonderful! Two excellent organizations for Godly financial advice are Crown Financial and Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University.

• Be very careful about committing to any activity in which the whole family cannot participate together. This test will mean saying "no" to lots of things that split the family to the four winds. It may mean that your children have to take turns playing their sport or participating in extracurricular activities or foregoing them altogether. If God wants for someone in the family to have an exclusive opportunity (i.e., job for a teenager outside the home) He will usually give you a peace about breaking this rule but generally it should stay in force. No member of the family should feel exempt from this principle. For dad's, this may involve seeking a position that allows you to involve your children in your work. By the way, going to church activities where everyone splits off to an age-grade segregated classroom doesn't count as "participating together." When family members do something without the others, encourage them to tell the others about the event (who was there, what they learned, enjoyed or disliked) so that the family can benefit vicariously. Conversely if one family member misses a family activity make a special effort to let them know that they were missed and brief them on what happened.

• Get Unplugged! Limit computer use drastically. We have a schedule so the children know when they can use the computer each week. They have the freedom to use it for learning games. Cell phone use in children can increase their likelihood of developing brain cancer by 400 percent. Turn off the TV! Early exposure to TV is directly correlated with smaller vocabularies, video games alter brain chemistry and have proven negative effects on social skills. One of the benefits to us raising nine children in a small three bedroom home has been their willingness to play, discover, and work outdoors. In the last two years we have read more books (mostly missionary biographies and historical fiction) together, played more board games and yard games then we did in the previous sixteen years.

• Minister as a family. Allowing the children to give some of their tithe directly and seeing the impact that it had on them is one of the best things that we have ever done. One morning we secretly left a cash gift for a family at risk of losing their home and the children were more excited then they have been on a typical Christmas morning. We have visited the local assisted-living center, picked up trash in run down neighborhoods, delivered Christmas gifts to neighbors, and encouraged others to value life by holding up signs near the local Planned Parenthood office. Sharing reports from and praying for the missionaries that we support has also helped the kids know that they have a part in a larger work. We hope to participate in other mission activities in the future.

• Worship and pray together daily. Our daily devotionals vary in length depending on our schedule but usually contain three elements: singing worship songs, reading scripture, and praying together. I have known for many years that one excellent way to get to know someone is to listen to them pray but I really wasn't taking the time to listen to the prayers of my wife and children. I've discovered that I was really missing out. If you feel that your family is too busy to do this together, you may want to re-evaluate your priorities and remove less important things from your life.

• Provide your children the opportunity to get to know other Christian families as a family. This may sound rather old fashioned but don't knock it till you've tried it! We feel much more at ease with our kids getting to know other kids while we are near by and this gives us the opportunity to get to know the parents of our children's friends. We have experienced this most through church, homeschooling co-ops, and a local beekeeping association. One consistent comment that we receive from adults is that our children really converse with them! (What a concept, huh?) Unfortunately, children and teens today are accustomed to living days on end without having any deep conversations with any adults.

George Barna's research shows that our organizational efforts to raise children who develop into mature followers of Christ have failed. When I discovered Barna's book, I purchased a copy for all the leaders of the church where I was a part-time children's pastor because I was under the illusion that the answer was to tweak our church programming. However, I should have purchased a copy for every parent and grandparent because the heart of the issue is that Christian parents have become overly dependent upon external organizations, namely schools (public and christian) and churches, to raise their children. The very best discipleship programs are those that allow for instruction as you go through your daily life together. Deuteronomy 11:19 says "And you shall teach them (God's laws) to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." It is impossible to monitor and shape young lives for Christ if they are constantly being farmed out to other institutions. An excellent school and the very best church programming cannot take the place of a fully aware parent who embraces their role as the primary agent for seeing that their children's hearts are yielded to Christ.

My family has a list of goals that we call "Our Target." We review them from time to time and try to go back to them when we are making decisions or evaluating how we are doing as a family. Our list is still a work in progress. I'm sharing it with you but wouldn't recommend that you adopt it for your own family without prayerful discussion. Part of the fun and value of having family goals is working them out together. The work and the discussion help everyone understand the meaning and importance of them. Here's "Our Target:"

• Have fun together often.

• Stimulate a hopeful disposition with a constant appetite for Heaven and the eternal state.

• Encourage and train family members to be wise and faithful stewards of the resources placed under their control so that they will be responsible caretakers, generous givers, and cheerful tithers.

• Prayerfully arrange for family members to be mentored and befriended by people who will encourage them to discover and pursue God’s plan.

• Raise children who have an accurate understanding of their talents and gifts. Arrange opportunities for them to develop and employ their passions in the advancement of God’s kingdom through their daily life and vocation.

• Worship together in the home and with other members of the body of Christ.

• Discover the truth of God’s word together through regular Bible reading and study.

• Raise children who honor and respect their parents

• Raise children who desire to love the Lord with all their hearts and come to know Him as savior at an early age.

• Live other-centered lives.

• Honor one another through kind speech and loving actions.

• Testify about salvation through Jesus Christ – in word and deed.

• Glorify God – Serve the Lord with gladness and obedience.

My wife and I recognize that our efforts as parents, no matter how valiant, cannot assure that our children will make good choices but we are resolved to be aware of those choices and the conditions of our children's hearts. Our families are gifts from God to be cherished, nurtured, and enjoyed. If we are not careful and purposeful we will miss the blessing of knowing them as God intends.

Don Gordoni can be reached by email at Don.Gordoni.Creative@gmail.com.

God Bless You!

God Bless You...just a few short words, yet such a blessing that I learned quite a few years ago. When Don was in Seminary, we lived with an elderly woman and took care of her. We called her "Nana." She was wonderful! She couldn't move around much by herself and she never even left her room. She was content to stay in her little world of her bedroom and walk a few times each day. I could tell that Nana had worked hard her whole life. She was the only person I've ever met who has never taken any kind of medicine in any form, her whole life and she lived to be 92! I have some favorite memories of her. She loved to sit in her chair, watch TV and eat dinner on a TV tray. She also was very disciplined about washing her hands often. But, her favorite thing to do was to clap her hands and sing while Nathan (our 15 year old, who was then 2 at the time) danced! :o) My favorite thing about Nana, was that anytime we left her room, she always said "God Bless You!" At first, I thought that was kind of odd, as I had never had anyone say that to me before as often as she did. I also took it for granted at first. But, as the days went on, I realized that was her way of blessing me for helping her and her way of saying "thank you for all you're doing." She was a very special woman and because of Nana, I now say "God Bless You" to others and it's always such a blessing to hear "God Bless You" in return. As I've grown in my faith, I realize that our focus should be on us blessing God, not on Him blessing us. However, as sentiments go, it's a good one! Thank you Nana...

Jesus Came, What's Next?

This video was the last one that I (Don) directed at Lamb & Lion. The video is designed to be left behind for those who are left behind following the rapture. Nathan has a principal role and most of the family are in the final scene.

http://lamblion.com/articles/articles_second10.php